January 18, 2024
Today started with an imbalanced sleep—around 8 hours, but broken 1-2 times during the night. I woke up late,started work around 9:30 AM, feeling unsure about my plans for the day. Should I work on the report or not? The bug I’ve been dealing with for the last three days—an SSRF issue related to interacting with an external server—still hasn’t yielded good results. The vulnerability is possible, but I haven’t been able to extract any useful information yet, which has been frustrating.
In the afternoon, I decided to take a break and watched Wake Up Sid. It made me think about life’s direction and purpose, which tied in perfectly with what I’ve been feeling lately.
I also learned that i lacks emotional communication when i'm low & which made me confront my own vulnerabilities.I hope with time, things will work out
On another note, I’ve been thinking a lot about my future. Should I continue this internship till the appraisal? It’s been three months already. Should I aim for a permanent position at this company, start something of my own, or explore new job opportunities? These thoughts have been weighing on me.
Today, I also found out that Oomy, a friend and colleague, is planning to go abroad, possibly extending the internship till April or leaving the company before then. We had once dreamed of starting a company together, but those plans seem to be fading. We had discussed starting a company or working on a business idea with a group of friends—the NotCozyBear project—but those plans seem to have fizzled out as everyone prioritized their own paths. It’s disheartening to realize that the dreams we shared for over a year are now on hold or have fallen apart. But I guess that’s life—at every stage, people’s priorities and choices shift.
Ultimately, I need to focus on myself and what’s best for my future. These moments of uncertainty and reflection feel heavy, but they also push me to rethink my goals and figure out my next steps. I hope I can find clarity soon.
Went on my daily walk and completed 6,265 steps. Monthly total: 105,779 steps.
